Reasons I’ve Said Fuck Today

It’s Wednesday, yet it feels like Monday. Like, Hump Day’s on snooze after too much wine. Because I realized five minutes ago that I’ve used my favorite expletive way too much (either quietly in my head, or not so quietly out loud), I decided to share the reasons why.

  1. After waking up early, on purpose, I spent an hour on my phone checking emails and social media accounts before I got up to pee. Fuck.
  2. I forgot to charge the phone overnight, which means my hour messing around on it this am drained the battery to critical levels so it couldn’t make the trip to the bathroom with me. Fuck.
  3. I had to change the toilet paper roll. Again. Because no one else in my house knows how to. Fuck.
  4. My toothbrush was in a different spot in the holder than I remember putting it last night. I wonder why. Like, who used it, dropped it, or played with it while I wasn’t looking? Fuck.
  5. The boy got up before me and snuck into the living room where he turned on the TV and ate who knows what before I had a chance to start our day off right with breakfast and school. Fuckety fuck.
  6. I stepped on a dog’s tail. I won’t divulge which dog, but will say she was rather peeved at me, even though I’m sure I only actually stepped on three hairs. Maybe five. Fuck. Fuck.
  7. Realized we have bagels, but no more vegan cream cheese, and the boy actually wants REAL food for breakfast. Fuck.
  8. Remembered that I was supposed to run an errand yesterday that included dropping off paperwork that was most likely still in the back of my car. Slight panic attack. Fuck. THEN remembered I did this already on Monday. Phew.
  9. Can’t for the life of me find that brand new bottle of conditioner I just bought and paid for at Target, but somehow didn’t make it into the house. Fuck.
  10. My favorite jeans are dirty. Fuck.
  11. Stabbed myself in the eyeball with the mascara wand. FUCK.
  12. Went to use my fave coconut butter lotion to keep my freshly shaved legs nice and smooth for more than ten minutes, but forgot the jar was empty and I didn’t buy more from Trader Joe’s this weekend. Fuck.
  13. My minimalist hair-do gives me elf-ears. Fuck.
  14. Ran around the house post-shower for an hour before realizing I forgot to put the Fitbit back on and track my steps. Fuck.
  15. Someone dropped a coffee pod on the kitchen floor then stepped on it. Did you know they explode? According to my 8-year-old, they do. Someone also lost the broom. Again. Someone else may have yelled for it to be found. It quickly was and crisis was averted. Fuck.
  16. My right middle and ring fingers feel like they were smashed in a door, but they weren’t. No middle fingers in the air for me today. Fuck.
  17. I can’t find the cat. Fuck.
  18. The dog looks guilty of something, like, ‘Sorry, but I totally threw up on your bed’, or ‘Bitch, it’s your fault you left the bread so close to the edge of the counter, not mine that I saw it and ate it’, kind of look. Fuck.
  19. A piece of fuzz on the ground looked like a giant bug, so I side-stepped and somehow squished a pinky toe with the same foot. Like…how? Fuck.
  20. It’s not even noon, and I’ve said FUCK way too many times. Fuuuuck.

What’s not to love about free audiobooks?

Every once in awhile, I give out free stuff, like audiobooks! Today is that day. There’s no catch, no obligation for you to meet, just leave a post under this thread with the title you’re interested in (available titles for the Find Me Series and The Station books are posted below), and your email. That’s it! There’s a limited number of audio titles I can send out, so this is first come, first serve. Enjoy!

Check the titles out on Audible for more info! 

In the Find Me series, anyone can become a villain. Meet Ash…

When Ashlyn was seven, her mom kicked her dad out of the house. That first night, knowing that it was going to be different forever, her mom tucked her in and told her the story of the phoenix. She went on to explain to her that life had a way of burning down the beautiful things, but out of the ashes, something new would come. From that day forward, Ashlyn demanded her mom and all her friends call her ‘Ash’. She would be a phoenix, and rise from the ashes reborn, despite all that life hurled her way…

whil

Cross paths with Ash, and you’re going to get burned. Find out exactly who gets too close to her flames in book 4 of the Find me series: Where Hope is Lost. Available for your Kindle and Nook!


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Thanks for reading!

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Meet Zoey, the Dog

So, Zoey’s not your ordinary post-apocalyptic dog. She doesn’t chase down zombies or tear off the arms of gun-toting bad guys, but she’ll always be Riley’s #1 companion. The love dogs have for their people is unconditional, right?

Zoey kept her tail tucked between her legs and her head low, as if something would attack us at any moment. The longer she continued like that, the more I felt we weren’t alone; I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were being watched.

Find out all about this duo in ‘I Hope You Find Me’, the first book in the Find Me series, free for your Kindle, Nook and Apple devices. Happy Reading!

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Check out this new release by Anne Conley – Master of Love!

Welcome to Mystic, Texas, where the past stays alive in more ways than one.


Tiffany Masters is desperate for a fresh start after the loss of her husband. Landing in Mystic, she soon learns the town has as many secrets as she does. The local book club, The Book B!tches, gives her the courage to be herself without worrying about adult things, like bills, parenting, and supper. 

However, her new boss may be more than she can handle.

Nick takes pride in his business. Being the only bar owner in town has its challenges, the biggest being his new employee. Tiffany’s a fireball—sexy as hell, with a temper to match—and off-limits. She’s got kids; he’s been there, done that, didn’t care to get the t-shirt.

When their heated attraction sparks a spat, the sheriff gives them an ultimatum: settle their shit or go to jail. He’s got a crime to solve—a woman’s dead, Wren’s still missing, and there’s another possible victim.

Mystic may have a serial killer on the loose.

**This is not a standalone novel. It is recommended that Power of Love, Book B!tches #1 be read first.**

For a limited time only, all the books in this series are on sale for .99!!!


Every time she got pissed at Nick, she got horny for him, and that made no sense to her whatsoever.

“Bend over my desk.”

Tiffany spun around. “What? Why?” Even though it didn’t matter. She wanted whatever it was he had in mind. But the look on his face gave her pause. Maybe not. He looked really pissed.
Maybe he had the same damn reaction to her?

“I’m not sure, yet, Tiffany. I haven’t exactly decided what I want to do to you.” Nick gripped one hand into a fist and cracked his knuckles, but it wasn’t a move born of aggression. He was getting ready to use his hands, on her, and she was okay with that. His face was full of concentration, and the intensity shining from his gray, bottomless eyes bored straight into her insides and dived down into the depths of her pussy.

She was a mess, and he hadn’t even touched her yet.

“O-kay …” Tiffany whispered as she turned and did as he asked. A hiss of expelled air was the only discernable reaction.

“Close your eyes,” Nick demanded, and she obeyed without question. “Do you trust me?” His gravelly voice suddenly had an edge of uncertainty to it, much like the smile he’d displayed earlier. It was odd and threw her a little off balance.

But she answered with a firm “Yes.” Because she did. As mad as he made her, she loved the asshole. She could admit it to herself but no one else. She loved Nick Livingstone.

And she was sure he was about to do something to her no man would ever do again. He would touch her in some way that would pale in comparison to everyone else. Even Conrad.

Shit.

A soft cloth fell over her eyes, and Tiffany reached up to touch it. “Nope, baby girl. Keep your hands on the desk.” Tiffany opened her eyes to see Nick’s bandana—the one he kept in his pocket for a handkerchief—over her eyes like a blindfold.

Scenes from her BDSM books flew through her mind, and then it all made sense—Nick’s need for utter compliance and control, his anger when she didn’t do what he thought she should do for her own good, his protectiveness of her—as misguided as it was—his dominance in the bedroom.
Goose bumps broke out on her back.

“Is this a BDSM thing? Are you a Dominant?” Finally. Something was happening Tiffany sort of understood. Lord knows she had read tons of books about this.

A harsh laugh broke from his chest. “Fuck if I know, Tiff. I told you. You do this to me. Make me want to command your pleasure. And punish you when you don’t behave. Is that a Dom?” His fragmented sentences drew off into a rumble, and as he lowered himself over her back, she felt it radiate through her, vibrating her bones with his warmth.

She wanted to scream inside her head, Yes! But Doms care for their subs and fall in love with them. Even as the words formed in her mind, she knew it wouldn’t happen. He may take care of her, but he didn’t really care. He wasn’t in love with her.

But she managed a nod.

“Do you trust me? You still okay with this?”

Tiffany bit her lip, more to keep from screaming the word at him, and he pressed against her tightly until she answered with a whispered “Yes.”

“Good.”

Nick gripped her hips, tugging her this way and that. Tiffany couldn’t decide if he was straightening her, looking at her from different angles, or what. But when he lifted her skirt and let out that hiss again, she didn’t care; as long as this ended up in sex, she was totally cool with whatever he did. Anger and resolutions be damned.

His finger tickled her backside as it traced her thong, slipping underneath it and tugging on it before letting it go with a snap. Her turn to hiss. That stung.

“You don’t even know how sexy you are, do you?” His voice scared her in the most delicious way. It was still a rumble, bordering on a low roar. Like a fucking bear.

SMACK!

“Ow! Son of a bitch! That hurt!” His hands were rubbing the spot he’d just spanked, the fingers rubbing and digging into the flesh. Eventually, the stinging subsided, and Tiffany had to admit it was the shock of the slap that had scared her. Nothing actually hurt.

“Okay?” Nick’s soft voice soothed her and taunted her at the same time.

“Yes.” Tiffany sounded petulant and knew it as soon as the word left her mouth. For some reason, she wanted to apologize for her tone of voice, and wasn’t that just the shit?

SMACK!

Again with the rubbing and soothing, this time on her other ass cheek.

“What exactly am I being punished for?” The bratty tone was gone, and now she hated the fact she sounded so weak. The question came out like she was begging for something.

SMACK!


“You accepted a date with Matt the Douchebag.”

SMACK!

Another slap on her ass, and instead of rubbing it, he slapped the same spot again before soothing it with his massive hand. Her butt was getting warm, and damn if the wetness in her pussy had actually increased.

“You don’t actually like him, you’re just doing it to make me mad.” Another resounding SMACK! 

She pressed back into his hand as he stroked her. “To get back at me for something you still haven’t told me about.”

What the hell? Who knew she liked spankings so much?

SMACK!

Tiffany moaned long and loud that time. She couldn’t stop the sound from coming out of her mouth.

“Seriously?” Nick’s question would have been comical if she wasn’t so turned on. His hands on her stilled and then traced the edge of her thong again before dipping down below, into her drenched folds. “Fuck. Me.”
Master of Love:
Barnes and Noble:  http://bit.ly/2mlVK11
Power of Love:
Barnes and Noble:  http://bit.ly/2k3NRcn
Loving the Enemy:
Barnes and Noble:  http://bit.ly/2ktYwx5

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Anne Conley
Contemporary Romance Author
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