Kaitlyn Deann is in the HOUSE!

My name is Kaitlyn Deann and I’m 17. I like to write. And tigers. And fruit. And cookies. And books. And starting sentences with unnecessary conjunctions.

Just kidding.

But…

I do not like the smell of skunk. I know; I’m strange. Don’t stare.

I’d like to take a minute…

*Pauses, and then….*

♫ ♩ ♬ so just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air…. ♫ ♩ ♬

Yes, that was necessary.

Anywho. I would like to thank the amazing and talented Trish Marie Dawson, who invited me to do a guest blog! Thanks a trillion!

I’d also like to talk about tigers. Reason? I have tigers in my book THE WITCHES’ SLEEP. Okay, okay. So they aren’t full tigers. They’re weretigers. Yeah, you read right. WEREtigers. Half person, half tiger.

Best. Combination. Ever.

I’m a genius. A humble genius, that is. *Winks cockily*

Okay, so my weretigers’ tiger part of them is different from an earth tiger. They have a laryngeal.

What in the universe is that, Kaitlyn?!

The laryngeal muscle is a muscle that some — I repeat, SOME— felines have. When inhaling and exhaling, it vibrates, enabling them to purr. Tigers (from earth, that is) DO NOT have this muscle. Tigers do what is called chuffing. Sometimes it’s considered a friendly growl. They chuff when saying hello or they’re happy.

What does this have to do with weretigers?!

Chill, dude. This is a serious moment… My weretigers are NOT from earth. They are from a planet called Torx, where the dominate species are were-creatures — half person,half animal people. So what does this have to do with the laryngeal muscle? All the felines from Torx, all the were-cats, have this muscle.

I CAN DO THIS! YOU KNOW WHY?!

Because they are not from earth. They are tigers. My tigers.

The end.

Thanks for the awesome Guest Blog today Kaitlyn! You can find Kaitlyn here on her website, facebook, and Twitter.

Happy Hump-day Everyone!

Why I’m A Foodie

I’m here! What, you mean you weren’t waiting for me? And where’s the photographer? The make-up artist? Really? Not even the tea boy? Shakes head and shrugs. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to get my own tea. Trish, you really need to get a tea-boy. Grumbles some more and settles into Trish’s blog.

Hmmm….now when Trish asked me to do a guest post, I was all “Say what?!” and other such 90’s sayings, because that’s how I roll. And I was very excited because I got to be on my lovely friend Trish’s blog! But we’re going off track here, and that won’t do at all because I haven’t got a compass. Plus we’re not going anywhere.

I thought I would talk about one of my other passions apart from writing-no not that, you dirty gits! Food. Because I am a complete foodie. I am the annoying person sat at your table who not only knows the best food to go with the way the wind is blowing, or even the best wine to go with said food, but will even taste the wine and tell you it tastes of leprechaun tears. But this isn’t to say that I am a food snob either, I love some of the food you shouldn’t have as well! If you ever come to my part of the world, just ask for a ‘Parmo’, and you’ll know what I mean! But food should be three things; fresh, natural, and tasty.

Now as Trish is not a disgusting carnivorous wretch like I am, I thought I would talk about some of the most delicious food I like which is at the very least vegetarian. (It may not be vegan though, I’m afraid I must eat cheese otherwise my head might explode. What? It may happen, you don’t know. Do you want my cheese-related death on your hands? No? Then be quiet.)

I used to work as a sous chef in an Italian restaurant as one of my many varied jobs before becoming a starving writer. (See what I did there?) Does a snigger, but gets a slow shake of the head from Trish…Okay, that was a rubbish joke. BUT it was an amazing job. While I didn’t enjoy being shouted at like the boat was sinking, I learnt some wonderful recipes, and constantly got to try different things every day. And yes, I did put on 5 pounds. But I also found out my favourite food of all-Italian. And although I can’t choose just one, my favourite pasta of all time is……..drum roll…..ricotta and spinach tortellini. Which believe me, is a big deal when you like rare steaks.

Food has never been a comfort for me, but it very well could have been. When I was younger, my parents didn’t have a lot of money. No, we weren’t on the breadline, we were dangling from it by a crust. And we always had the cheapest food possible, and not that much of it. I remember times where we would search for coppers down the back of the sofa to get milk. Now that sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. Now I’m not saying this to get you all weepy, because that would mean I have to hunt you down, give you a sharp rap on the back of the head, and tell you to buckle up and stop being such a girl. I’m telling you this to explain why I appreciate the taste of good food. Trish comes in with a miniature violin, offers it. I shake my head. She then sighs and walks back out, seeing that everyone’s eyes are still dry.

So because of this, as soon as I could afford to get my own food, I decided I was going to try as many things as possible. I’ve always enjoyed cooking and baking, and I remember making little cakes as a child with my nana in her kitchen. And then I remember eating them. That bit is much more vivid. In fact, she may have made them and I ate them, but I still enjoy cooking now.

Smell is also a huge trigger for me, especially spices and seasonings. No joke, I will stand and sniff any new spices I buy when I get them. What? Don’t look at me like that, it’s spices, not a shoe. That’s why another favourite of mine is curry, when the kitchen is full of fragrant delicious smells, tantalizing your nostrils as you sit and ponder about the greater things in life, such as why an unladen African swallow might have a higher air speed velocity than a European swallow. Or if they could carry a coconut between them. See, I brought it back to food.

So I’ll wrap this up. Like a tortilla. Yum. Basically, one of my other passions is food, and maybe a little humour. Maybe. Because food is not just something we shove in our mouths to stop the tummy monster growling at us, but it’s a pleasure. One to be taken in moderation, obviously. (Unless you really like lettuce. Then you can have as much as you like.) But it is one of life’s great wonders, that we are able to taste such a vivid palette from the Earth, and I really do pity all those ladies who feel the need to go on a diet, because they will miss out.

So, thank you for letting me ramble on, and listening to me sort of telling you why I’m a die-hard foodie. And thank you Trish, for letting me sit in your squishy leather swivel chair. I may have spun on it a few times. The tear was not me.

However, the Irish stew in the kitchen was. 🙂

Thank you Miss Miranda Stork for joining us today!! You were amazing as always! If you are dying to know more about Miranda and her books, you can find her at these wonderful places: FacebookFacebook Author Page, Twitter, Goodreads  and Amazon! Thanks again for stopping by Miranda! 🙂